I have a continuation here! A continuation of a previous blog, titled "snighted." I finally have come to a conclusion as to one of the reasons I felt the way I did, and why I felt snitty and gritty. With a little bit of sauce thrown in on the side. Most likely those of you already familiar with this blog will have guessed the subject of my discontent, but let's wait a little bit before discuss that particular idea. I'm going to do something that, for the most part, I have not done in this blog. I want to explain something that the scriptures taught me.
I'm an avid believer in things that I can't see. I believe in lots of things, things that are true, things that are important, things that are trivial, things that are beautiful, things that are mediocre, and things that are just my own fantasy making me want to believe. Most of the time the things that I believe that don't make my life more wonderful come with a lurking suspicion that they aren't really true. I don't know if you can really say having an insurmountable doubt can be coherent with belief, but after all, if it's not true, then it's not really faith, is it?
One thing that I believe without having doubt is that the book called "The Book of Mormon" is an inspired work. It comes straight from God, and it's a divine thing. Most everyone who reads this blog probably already knows where I stand on the issue, but I rarely describe why. I believe in this book implicitly for a couple of reasons. If you wish to speak logically, I could talk about the amazing accuracy it has at keeping track of all the tiny details that most of the time go astray in contemporary writing. The little things like names, places, time frames. The Book of Mormon has about three different stories going on at nearly if not exactly the same time at different parts of the book, and keeping track of all those different details seems to me to be a pretty difficult task for anyone that didn't have divine help. I know I couldn't. The Book of Mormon is also historically accurate as far as science has determined. Logically, it would make sense that it's true then, it makes matters simpler on that face.
However, the true basis of my belief has a lot more to do with personal experience with the book. First off, every time that I read it, I get a happy feeling, a peaceful assurance that life really is good. I love happiness and feeling like things will work out, so anything that helps me to feel that is naturally attractive. That's true for just about everything, even girls. If they make me happy, I like them. Weird, I know. Digressions apart, no matter what I read in The Book of Mormon, it makes me happy, it makes me actually relax and feel at peace. That constant comfort is one reason that I know that the book is good. The second reason is that the Book of Mormon opens my mind. Before I explain this point, I just have to say the third reason that I know The Book of Mormon is true is that God told me so, through the Spirit. I know it's true.
The Book of Mormon opens my mind in ways that are hard to explain. It feels like most of the time that I wade through a mental bog, where nothing is really clear. When I pay attention to what I read in The Book of Mormon, though, the bog is gone and the world is like a clear morning right before the sun comes out, when everything is beautiful and new. Every day can be a wonderful renewal, and reading that book clears the congestion away from my head. It's my key to the door of understanding, and I'm not talking about just spiritual matters. I was blessed to learn something about relationships, and what girls want, and it came on the tail of a thought that I had while I was reading The Book of Mormon. That book is celestial.
I've taken the time to say because I needed to say it. I learned something today while I was reading. During a soliloquy by one of the prophets of The Book of Mormon, Nephi, it says "Do not slacken my strength because of mine adversities." Problems, or adversities, come in many varieties, and often mine are the mental type that I create on my own. I've noticed, though, that these problems are my excuse for being weak. When I have problems, I have the tendency to excuse my weakness because it's just a little harder. Things that normally I would do with a smile become dreary and hard, just because of something else that might be going on. Understanding that such a reaction is a common thing, even for a prophet, gives me courage to not do so in the future, and to try hard not to fall prey to that.
And now I come in a full circle to explain my snittiness, what has been on my mind and has become a subject of consideration. And yes, I'm afraid that it does come from my varied experiences in the dating or not dating scene.
People wear different masks, of that I'm completely aware, seeing as I do it myself. Maybe it would be easier if every time we changed our attitude we had a physical mask that we could put on to reflect that change. It would be pretty cool, because I would have some wicked masks. Maybe something simple sometimes, a plain wood deal. Perhaps other masks would be more exotic, with feathers, or buttons, or maybe musical instruments. Maybe some wouldn't have a mouth, or eyes, or one would cover ears (that one would be fun in some circumstances, though maybe not very nice). There would be the interested mask, the uninterested mask, and things would be very easy to discern.
What frustrates me is when there is a change of masks that makes no sense. I'm thinking of specific instances, so please don't assume I'm talking about you, unless I actually am talking about you. If you're a guy, rest assured that I'm not talking about you, but I think if you are a guy you will agree with me. Imagine this: you go on a date with a girl that you're kind of interested in, and you have an enjoyable time. You think that it's likely she had a good time as well, because all the signs are there. She was smiling as she said goodbye, she hugged you with both arms and for longer than half a second, she laughed during the date and actually talked, and everything seems to be good. Then after the date, you see her in a situation that's pretty common, say you have a class together. She acts like you're just any other guy. No one special at all. Perhaps that's the real indicator of whether or not someone is really interested in you, but it is frustrating to think during the date that maybe your interest is mirrored in the girl, only to find out that it's not at all. Sigh.
In defense of all the girls who have unwittingly fallen into the category of mask changer, I admit that when I go on dates my goal is to make the girl I'm with have as good a time as possible. That's just gentlemanly. I worry now that I've inadvertently given the impression that I like someone when I liked them as a friend and not as a romantic interest, but it's still frustrating to see masks change.
Thanks for reading the whole thing. The first part is most definately more real than the second
No comments:
Post a Comment