Thursday, September 10, 2009

Campus with a capital A (for awkward)

The pressing matter of school work is such that this is going to be very short. Yes, blog readers anonymous, I give you only a short entry, because I wanted to say something. Yes, something that has been on my mind. I've decided that, for all of my making fun of them, college campuses really are awkward. I've come to this conclusion because no one, and I mean that in the most general sense meaning that there are a few noted exceptions, of the opposite gender will meet my eyes unless they know me. Even I fall prey to this ugly social norm. Not always, and definitely less than it would seem most people do, but the fact remains, people are afraid to look me in the eye.

I figured it must be that my eyes have boogers in them. I mean, they're embarrassed for me. "Look at that guy. I bet he doesn't even know he's got eye boogers." I'll have to remember to check for that each morning. The other conclusion I came to is that I'm so attractive that girls have heart palpitations whenever they look at me, meaning their not meeting of the eyes is merely a matter of self preservation. Yes, that's right, I'm sexy, look away, quick! It's definitely not because I'm so hideous that I'm simply disgusting to look at. After all, I have been working out lately.

Maybe the reason people are loath to meet eyes is merely because they're terrified what might happen if they do. I'll admit that I believe that all men (and women when I'm being completely honest) have a little bit of the social awkward/creepy person in them. Or something that appears close to it. For instance, I personally have the temptation to say such awkward things like "Hello attractive person" or something like every time I actually do get the rare pleasure of locking eyes with a girl for a brief, heart pounding moment. Maybe, then, people avoid me because they can see the mischievous little guy behind the eyes who enjoys making others feel off balance.

Whatever the cause, go out and enjoy some socially accepted and awkward norms today. Make sure you don't meet anyone's eyes, though. I hear they have police for that sort of thing, and no one wants to be branded as "creepy."