C-Workers.

An amazing thing happened today. I realised that absolutely no one looks at my blog. This being understood, I can now say any number of completely random and provocative things, without the fear of someone I actually know reading the blog. With, of course, the exception of Tolkien Boy, but seeing as he's used to the provocativeness accompanying my yellowness, it's not really that big of a risk.

On that note, I'd like to inform the world (or at least you Tolkien Boy) that I'm quiting my job tomorrow. It's a liberating feeling. I'll be free from money, free from activity, and the most important, free from my coworkers. Not that I'm excited about it. There's something manly in the way my coworkers belittle me as a sport. I've come to think that belittling ought to be the new reality show, it's just what this world needs.

Sarcasm aside, my coworkers are indeed a source of bafflement for me. They seem to suffer from a large variety of viruses. The type that never go away, or sometimes attack in certain circumstances. Take, for example, what I call the physivirus. This is a nasty little bugger that attacks the common sense vein, closing it off completely, and also increases the output from the manly hormones outputter. This leads to random behavior. Such as obtrusiveness. And abusiveness. But not abusive obtrusiveness. Yeah. Anyway, normally the spikes of said virus are followed by bursts of physical violence, and for reasons unkown, the target is always one Major Bubbles. I find this virus most annoying, especially because it is part of what is called the g group. It only surfaces in large groups. Otherwise, it's quiet tame and tranquile. The problem is, the more people it's around, the worse the viruse becomes. I've contemplated operation on one of my coworkers, he who seems most affected by the virus, but unfortunately that would make it hard, because he's my boss, and that's normally frowned upon.

Another malady, common to my coworkers, is the manly imbalance hormone. This one is practically a killer, because it leads my co's to do all sorts of stupid things. I think that this particular virus was made up by some woman scientist, intent on destroying the manlyness of things (no doubt a feminist), but, as often is the case in these things (I mean, look at Dr. Jekyll), the process went askew and made a virus that removes all natural impediments and protections against said virus. You may catch a co dancing on a twenty foot ladder made of cardboard, or perhaps one drilling into his shoe, or even, my favorite, getting into fist fights. Whatever the cause, it's not a very smart virus, because it seems intent upon destroying it's host. I feel bad for the blue collared society, because it seems to be the most affected by this distressing virus. It's a good thing there's marriage out there, and that this particular disease pushes men towards it, because if not the human, male race would soon be extinct.

Which brings me to my next point. My co's, for whatever reason, seem most content when talking about women. I've still not completely understood this, because as far as I can tell, they think that they're only good for one thing, and that's pleasure. I call this the stupid syndrome. It goes along well with the other things they suffer from. Not subscribing to that particular frame of mind, I am glad to have remained uncontaminated by their diseases.

But, please, if you catch me doing anything overtly manly, please slap me. Sometimes, that's all we need to shake that virus loose.

On a more yellow note, they are, all in all, okay guys, and I can't say that there's nothing I learned from them (for example, I learned the art of spitting), but after all is said and done, I can't wait until Friday. I mean, even my immune system can only handle so much.