Working under the influence. . .

I'm writing this at work (shame!) and under the influence of music. Horrid, I know, because not only will I be prone to making frequent stops so as to assuage my guilty conscience, but I will also be making periodic, rather nonsensical insertions of music lyrics.

Such as this: When marimba music starts to play, hold me close, make me sway.

Which actually has something to do with what I wanted to say. Which is, simply, make me sway. Well, music does that, as does dancing in general, because I love dancing. I was at an institute function on Friday where there was dancing. I was entirely set on going home as soon as the music started, having had a couple of bad experiences with the type of music (it's just hard to dance to, it's not bad) that is often played at those types of circumstances. However, after the music had started, there was a spirit of frivolity and enjoyment that I just could not neglect. And so I merrily joined in with those people who were shaking themselves about in a wee little jig, and I discovered that I still love dancing. Almost to the passionately stage, but not quite. It's a little bit before passionate and a little past indifferent interest. It's an indifferent passion. I love oxymorons!

The holding of members of the opposite sex, no matter how contrived or practically meaningless it may be, is something of delight. I mean, of course, that hugs, snuggling, cuddling, massage giving, hand holding, etc, are all wonderful experiences. Dancing definitely is included in this list. Yep, definitely.

I've reached an interesting stage of life. I think most people go through stages, and I find myself on the brink of a new one. One of my friends (actually two of them) stated in quite a state of vexation that they were ready to be engaged. I refrained from pointing out that they're not in a serious relationship at the moment because, well, I didn't want to get my eyes poked out, I value their friendship, and let's face it, we live in Utah, and when has not being in a serious relationship stopped anyone from getting engaged within a month? Life is crazy.

Don't think for a moment that I'm saying that I'm ready to be engaged. Because, when I think about that, I most definitely am not. First off, I wouldn't have any idea how to ask the question, I have no experience with not flirting (I have been referred to many times as a constant flirt, I have become somewhat consigned to it), and more importantly the idea of me being engaged is just weird.

The thing is this: I feel open to the possibility of a more dedicated relationship. I think I've been afraid of girls in general for most of my life, so this is a big step for me, just being open to the idea. Having observed my friends and such, now is the time when lost of problems will arise, I will be in a constant stage of vexation, either because things are going poorly in the relationship sector or because they are going well.

Humans are so weird.

And, now, see, I have posted, and can get back to my guilt free monotonous work. Viva Vexation!