Flower Power

The plants are out to get us.

It's a constant source of amuzement to me how cool plants really are. I enlisted in the ranks studying botany this semester only in the hope of being able to complete the required fields for my associates degree, but I frankly admit that I have so far thoroughly enjoyed my botany class, entitled "Plants in Human Affairs." The plants really are out to get us, and I have discovered that not only are plants amazing in ability, proportion, and complexity, but that they are master daters. That's right, I have discovered the secret behind the plants beauty, its flowers.

Flowers are complex structures with one intent only: to ensure reproduction. Each flower reflects the personal taste of each plant that it belongs too. For example, yellow and blue flowers are meant to specifically attract bees and butterflies. Their bright colors make it easier for the ultra violet seeing bugs to identify the plants for possible nectar. The wide petals of the flowers are designed specifically as landing pods for the flying insects, making the botanic exchange of chromosones much more likely. Red flowers are mostly aimed toward birds. The red is more attractive, more attention getting for an animal than for a bug. And you wondered why we like roses. It's because the flowers are out to control the world, and they're using our sense of asthetics against us.

The color of flowers is by no means the only weapon in its arsenal. There are many otherwise drab looking flowers that even still manage to carry out their jobs as man (or as the case may be woman) hunters. Flowers that are specifacally meant to attract near sighted bugs and animals (such as the beetle or the bat) may be white or greyish, or in other words not particularly exotic in their visage, but they emit a seductive smell, that these weak eyed creatures can smell for miles around. It reminds me of some perfumes that I've smelt. When the right type wanders up into my nostrils, I could care less who is wearing the perfume or what she looks like, all my defenses are down and, well, we'll leave it at that.

Girls seem to have learned a lot about attraction from flowers. Not only do they do their best to look amazing, and you can see what marvelous affect this has on the spaced out face of every male that they walk in front of, but they've also mastered the art of smell. The two forces combined can make a man nearly powerless in his efforts to resist womanly charm.

It's a good thing men have flowers, though. I mean, it's men who give the flowers. I finally understood why it is that traditionally it is the male figure of a relationship who gives the flower. First off, it shows that, despite popular beleif, men are intelligent in the ways of attraction. Why? First, it gives a girl an asthetically pleasing experience to see a flower. It's natural, flowers evolved that way so as to survive. Next, flowers often give off their own emotion evoking perfume. That way a boy can influence the feelings of a girl by simply presenting a flower.

Girls, do not trust guys who come bearing flowers. They know all to well the natural implications of flowers, and the feelings that they produce. Men who give out flowers can not be trusted.

Oh, and by the way, happy upcoming valentines day.